Its time for all you Henney Penney’s to realize that just ‘cause global warming is a fact it doesn’t mean the sky is falling. I mean look, for years people have been complaining about overpopulation. This seems to be nothing that several decades of drought in the right places wouldn’t cure. Too many people prefer to spend their time nit-picking and complaining rather than stepping back and taking a look at the big picture. Its time you accept the fact that it’s here and go with the flow.

The climate change… The climate change… OH! GREAT! Now I don’t know whether to give all my winter clothes to "Good Will" or to buy stock in "Thinsulate" and Ski Board manufactures. YOU KNOW WHY DON"T YA! Because depending on just who is talking we could be heading into a time of irreversible accelerated global warming on a scale never witnessed before in the history of mankind… or not… …Ya see, there are some scientists who preach that global warming could bring on an ice age and that once the cooling begins there would be a rapid falling in temperatures for decades… Wait! Wait! Do I hear mumbling in the background… Some scientists also predict that the central part of the United States will moderate with milder winters and summer temperatures that will not reach as high as most other parts of the U.S. … I pick that one.

The ecosystems… The ecosystems… BOO! FRIGGIN’ HOO! I’m getting’ sick of those cutesy assed penguin movies anyway. And the polar bears, there’s still enough of ‘em left to get plenty of DNA so we can clone them later on. The penguins too… get some a their DNA. Then we could mix ‘em together… get a hybrid polarpinguinbear thingy. Imagine that!… Now theres a movie.

The polar caps are melting… The polar caps are melting… SO! WHAT! No more pesky icebergs, and from where I set when the Mississippi valley floods into one giant inland sea, then Edwardsville, setting high on the bluffs overlooking the Mississippi and Missouri bottoms, will become beachfront property. I’m gonna open a kiosk sip Margaritas and sell tee shirts and hats.

M.e.